giving it all away.......wait....what?

God....
you know that i am struggling with this......
i have given up so much recently...
and while it has been beautiful.....
why do i have to give up the thing that you have "given" me.....
you answered my prayers....
you showed your self and confirmed in my heart the very thing that i want......
but this is my trial....this is the boulder in my life.....
a test of my faith....
to see if i am serious about following you.....
to see if i truly hold you as the most important thing.....my significance.....my life.....
until i can understand and grasp and live in this mindset....i will continually go through this cycle.

lord....teach me to do this willingly....to submit to all that you have before me...
teach me to be content in where i am at...longing only for you......