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Friday, May 30, 2008
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
as i wait....
hide me now
under your wings
cover me
within your mighty hand
when the oceans rise and thunders roar
i will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
i will be still and know you are God.
find rest my soul
in Christ alone
know His power
in quietness and trust
~ Hillsong "Still"
the last 72 hours have been extremely rough.....God is taking care of me....but it still does not take a way the pain that i am feeling.....
my heart hurts....
i am frustrated....
i am lonely....
i do not understand why....
i am praying for strength and clarity!
i am asking that God would comfort me
change my heart so that it aligns with his
keep my heart pure as i wait...
Posted by Nicole at 11:02 AM 3 comments
Monday, February 4, 2008
when satan is mad
you know that God has an amazing oppurtunity before you....
a chance to experience something great......a once and a life time kinda encounter.....
and you say yes.....you submit to this thing that is going to change your life forever!!!!
as a believer this is something that we become accustomed to....it is an almost a regular thing.....
but yet we seem to forget it is coming.....
that is the place where i find myself right now....
i am headed to China!!! an amazing oppurtunity to change a portion of this world for eternity.....
but low and behold....and $500 later....my car is still not fixed......
i am trusting that God is going to take care of it all.....
all the debt...
all the money i need to raise....
all of it....
just as he takes care of the the lillies and the birds.....
and giving good gifts to his children....
satan...take that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Nicole at 7:32 PM 1 comments
Friday, January 25, 2008
teach me to breath
my heart is breaking….
but i am not real sure why…..
God has done so much….spoken so many things to my heart…..moved huge mountains…..why am i struggling so hard to have faith?
this morning at our prayer meeting Pastor Chris shared several verses on standing in faith…some encouragement for keeping strong……
luke 18:1 then Jesus told them….they should always pray and not give up
heb 12:3 consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart
gal 6:7-9 do not be deceived… let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Ro 4:19-21 without weakening in his faith…..he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God….being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.
Heb 11:11 by faith Abraham…..was enabled to become a father because he considered him faithful who had made a promise.
Lord i want to stand in these verse….
i want to stand in all that you are…..in all that you have spoken…..
but my heart is breaking as i watch him fall apart…..
i wish i could take his pain away….show him your heart….show him what you have spoken to me…..
but i am to wait….i am to stand in faith…..but there are days when i feel like i cannot even breath….where i am funning on a treadmill getting no where…..
i will wait….i will watch as some one else takes hold of my promise….as “hagar” steals my joy…..
but i will not be bitter….i will not be get jealous….
that is my prayer…..that my faith will not waver…..i will not become weary…that I will become be strengthened…….
Lord….give me strength……teach me to breath……
Posted by Nicole at 3:32 PM 1 comments
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
leaving the past behind.....
Posted by Nicole at 2:39 PM 1 comments
Friday, January 11, 2008
how
how do i let him in?
how do i open my heart....a heart so wounded by life?
a heart that is longing for love...and has the chance to have it....but can't allow him in?
Lord....heal the hurt...make me whole....let me open my heart to the one that you have given me.....help me open up to You and what you have....help me to step into the doors that you are opening....help me to understand what you are speaking....help me to listen to your heart!
Lord you are showing me my future....you are developing a heart for ministry and life.....you are giving me a passion for you and those who have no idea who you are.....
please clarify who i am and where you are leading me.....
take me deeper with you!!
Posted by Nicole at 3:44 PM 1 comments
Thursday, December 13, 2007
waiting quietly
last night i reached a point of desperation......and then a beautiful place of peace......
it has been a little over a week since i got the all clear from the doctors from the cancer.....
(so YEAH!!!!)
but since the appointment...i have been almost numb.....
getting the all clear stressed me out...in a major way.....
i had spent so much time focusing on the chemo....getting through that.....
understanding what i was facing and focusing on God....
that when i did not have that....my life became a basket turnover......
i was back to a place of too many question marks......
add a stressful work week on to it and i felt like a hampster running on the wheel....
loosing his footing and being tossed around before the wheel finely stops.....
while i was getting things ready for SWITCH last night...
i began to sweat....i could not stop.....it was pouring off of me....
my first thought was hormones.....adjusting to a "normal life"....
i got some water and set down by myself for a little while......
i began to breathe.....
i began to pray and sit quietly and receive what God had for me......
this is what i typed into my cell phone as i did not have my journal....
as worship started....i stayed in a place of quietness....
in a posture to receive......
expecting nothing more then to meet with my Jesus...
to allow him to calm my fears....to quiet the raging sea.....
one of my girls....whom i love dearly.....is in a similar place.....
she came to me very frustrated....much like i had just been....
as she cried....i saw my life....i saw the tears that i could not cry......
i saw the restlessness in her eyes that was so familiar.....
i prayed for her...
i prayed she would find that peace and that quiet....
i prayed God would be all that she needed....
i prayed the words for myself as well.....
God proved faithful.....as he always does.....
God allowed me to be touched my him....God gave me strength......
it is not going to be an easy road ahead of me.....
i will be fighting my flesh....
fighting all that I am so that i can get past the lies that i have believed....
understanding God....
understanding myself....
understanding love
Posted by Nicole at 10:34 AM 0 comments